Relatively Terrible
Relatively Terrible is the Uploads of Fun family questioning today's culture with humor and just enough dysfunction to feel relatable.
Relatively Terrible
We Argue Our Way To A Family Top 10 Band List
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A family Top 10 bands list should be simple. Then four people sit down with completely different tastes and try to agree on one ranking without starting a war. We go from classic rock and heavy metal to metalcore, pop punk, and post-hardcore, making the case for what matters most: longevity, innovation, influence, live shows, and the albums that hit at the right time in your life.
Along the way we debate Deep Purple’s legacy, argue about the Red Hot Chili Peppers and lineup chemistry, and clash over newer heavy hitters like Spiritbox. The Dance Gavin Dance conversation gets especially real because sometimes the best band on paper is the one you’re personally burned out on. We also plant our flag on Underoath as a genre-defining band, then throw the whole list into chaos with honorable mentions and a one-time swap rule that forces tough cuts.
The ranking takes an emotional turn when we talk New Found Glory and the loss of Chad Gilbert, then we land the plane with our final family list and give you listening recommendations by sharing favorite albums for key picks, including Black Sabbath’s Master of Reality, Underoath’s Lost in the Sound of Separation, House of Heroes’ Say No More, and Emery’s The Question. If you love music debates, band rankings, and genuine family banter, press play, then subscribe, share with a friend who will argue with you, and leave a review with your personal Top 3.
Fighting The Suck Since ©2026 Relatively Terrible
Talking Bands Without Starting Fights
SPEAKER_02This quite possibly might be the last podcast we ever create because today we are talking about bands. Oh boy. Yes, we are going to do our top ten bands of all time as a family. Again, this is our family's list, not your family's list. Ours. Don't get butthurt over who goes on this list and who doesn't, because it's not of all time.
SPEAKER_01We'll be butthurt enough for everybody.
SPEAKER_02Jackson, start us off.
SPEAKER_03What is your top five bands for you? Led Zeppelin, Black Sabbath, Deep Purple, Jews Priest, Red Odd Chili Peppers.
SPEAKER_04Calvin. Dance Gavin Dance, Underoath, Bill Murray, My Chemical Romance and Spear Box. Rachel?
SPEAKER_01House of Heroes, Dance Gavin Dance, Panic at the Disco, My Chemical Romance, and Underoath.
SPEAKER_02Underoath. You got Lincoln Park. Metallica, Emery, and Newfound Glory. Cut your face. I wasn't gonna say anything about that one. I'm Josh. I'm Rachel. I'm Calvin. I'm Lars from Metallica. And this is Relatively Terrible. I love you, but you're all terrible. Welcome back to the Relatively Terrible Podcast. We are the Uploads of Fun family, questioning culture with comedy and just enough dysfunction to feel normal.
SPEAKER_04Oh no, there's my chickens I'm watching Metallica!
SPEAKER_02I died that way. Oh boy. How many millions of albums have you two sold? At least I'm not a sellout. So Black Sabbath's not a sellout?
SPEAKER_00So I'm gonna just stop us here. Just gonna stop us here before we start.
SPEAKER_03They were actual musicians. Oh Jackson, are you freaking kidding me, bro? Oh my real musicians.
SPEAKER_02They were actually musicians.
Locking In The Early Rankings
SPEAKER_02They were. We're doing top 10 bands for our family. Let's get this going. Did you get first? Deep purple 10. Uh eight. Yeah, eight. Eight. I'm fine with eight. Yeah, I bet you are. I have seen them live, and they're for eighty 70 to 80-year-old men, especially the drummer, they're very good live. So I I can't really say a whole lot bad about them.
SPEAKER_03A career of 50 plus years.
SPEAKER_02So who doesn't know smoke on the water?
SPEAKER_01I mean I mean, isn't that the song that all kids learning to play guitar bass learn how to play first?
SPEAKER_02That was way easier than I thought it would be, Rach. You go ahead and keep it. Because I know my audience. All right. Come on. You're not gonna fight for your bands, though?
SPEAKER_01Red Hot Chili Peppers. Oh six.
SPEAKER_04Seven. I'm gonna have to go seven.
SPEAKER_02I'll go six. I was gonna, I was thinking five, but I'll go six. They've got longevity, they've defined their own genre. The only thing I will say is they only make a good album when they have John Frashanti.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. He's basically a modern day Hendrix. What? What? Oh my god. What? What?
SPEAKER_02Oh, what? Because you're throwing out these compliments. This hyperbole is crazy. How do you listen to Snow? If he's a modern day Hendrix, then why isn't he dead yet? Here we go.
Spiritbox And The Innovation Test
SPEAKER_02Next. Oh my god.
SPEAKER_03Ooh, Spirit Box. Nine. Nine. Under D Purple? No. Seven. Nine. Under D Purple. Here's every Spirit Box song.
SPEAKER_02You are you are really pushing this narrative of you being an old man. Yes, I am. I am. I don't care.
SPEAKER_03But that is every Spirit Box song I've ever heard.
SPEAKER_02You're not getting the guitar tone right. What have they done to innovate?
SPEAKER_04Her singing's really good. Their debut album was very successful. They only have two albums, and they already have a big following, and they're already touring with Evanescence, which is pretty huge.
SPEAKER_02But do you know why they already have a big following? Because they're recognizable. Because she was in a band before Spirit Box called I Wrestled a Bear Once. That was very popular. Yeah, no one listens to that band.
SPEAKER_03Calvin, see, you're not advocating for your own band.
SPEAKER_02Put it at nine.
SPEAKER_04No.
SPEAKER_03Seven.
SPEAKER_02Doesn't even know and then tries to say no one listens to it, then why do they have an audience? It's because of that. Okay.
SPEAKER_01What is the math you normally do?
SPEAKER_02So what did you say? We all said nine. Nine and I said.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, nine times eighteen.
SPEAKER_02Plus. Hold on. Nine, nine, nine. That's not Germany. 27 plus 7. 34 divided by 4 is.
SPEAKER_01I don't know. It's going at 9.
SPEAKER_03Wow, under D Purple. Okay. Calvin, they only have two albums. Okay. When they can make it 50 years, can be. Again, we've got the bonus round.
SPEAKER_01That's also a little extreme, and a lot of the guys are already dead, so let's not. Wine!
Dance Gavin Dance Gets Voted In
SPEAKER_01Wine! Wine! What is it? Wine!
SPEAKER_03Dance Gavin Dance. One! Wine! I gotta go two. Wine. Two. What's up above?
SPEAKER_04Under oath.
SPEAKER_01Under Oath would be number one for me.
SPEAKER_04Okay.
SPEAKER_01Above that. Two, though. Dance Gavin Dance. What do you think, Jax?
SPEAKER_03Does it really matter what I say on this one?
SPEAKER_00But what this is.
SPEAKER_03Listen, the bonus round is coming.
SPEAKER_00Well, listen, though.
SPEAKER_03This is so ridiculous.
SPEAKER_01This is this is one thing where like the three of us are all very much about dance, gavin, dance, and you are not.
SPEAKER_03I'll tell you why. Uh well, for one, I've heard them since dad has been driving us to elementary school. So I'm a little tired of it. If I hear evaporate one more time, for heaven's sake. Don't like the style of poppy singing, so the you know, really hard screaming stuff. Metal core is just not for me. They're great in their genre. Not little, but it's just not my it's not my cup of tea. I would put them. Where would you put them? Anywhere that's not in the top five. So just put them on. Yeah, that's wrong. Yeah, that they're two. So just put them at two. I don't care. They gotta be two.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01I mean, I I get it. This is where this list is gonna be hard because this is not gonna be an accurate list.
SPEAKER_02Well, I think the bonus round is gonna be brutal.
SPEAKER_03Well, we're starting with me, because it's three, because it's three, it's basically three versus one here. It is basically three versus one. The reasonable one and the emo people. For so for probably two.
SPEAKER_00Could you just call yourself the reasonable one?
SPEAKER_02Yes. And the reasonable one and the emo people are spoken. Who is that getting? And just for that. What?
The Case For Underoath At One
SPEAKER_04Who?
SPEAKER_05Underroll! Why?
SPEAKER_04Number one, baby. Yeah, I'm fine with that. One. The top two cannot be touched. I think that should be a roll.
SPEAKER_01No, it's not a rule. It's not a rule, but I'm putting it in one.
SPEAKER_02And then Under Earth should be number one, and I'll actually give a reason, Calvin, is they are a genre-defining band. When all the bands started heavy music, like Jackson doesn't like the heavy with the pop singing, Undereath did it and they did it better. Their singing actually has intensity, their screaming has rhythm, it's catchy, it's heavy yet accessible, and they've had so many good albums. And even the albums that aren't so great still have good songs on them. And they're just one of my favorite bands of all time. I've gone through some seasons of not enjoying certain things about them, but I think they're in live, they're incredible. So I they've got to be number one. If you have an argument to move them, then again, a lot of this is I am just dead inside.
SPEAKER_03So it's just capable.
SPEAKER_01We knew this was gonna happen.
SPEAKER_03That's why that's why I'm going first in the bonus round.
SPEAKER_01That's why I didn't want to do this list. All right, who is
My Chemical Romance And Metallica Debates
SPEAKER_01it? Because I knew we couldn't. My chemical romance. Ooh. Seven. Seven. I'd say seven.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, seven. I'd say seven. I mean they, you know, they're they're a really good band, but for me, they've only got one one good album. One okay, one perfect album. Yes.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02That's just my opinion. What don't you like about my chemical romance? It's a rock band. Well, I don't like emo, so then they're like the this emo bullshit is just like the racist bullshit. They're not an emo band. My chemical. They're just a rock band. That is such a stupid term. Go listen to Figazi. Go listen to Dashboard Confessional. Those are emo.
SPEAKER_03So when you make a song like Welcome to the Black Parade, that's not emo. No! Okay, this is news to me. Um, Metallica.
SPEAKER_02Ten. Ten. I'll go for 10. Listen, the reason I put them on my list is because You were high.
SPEAKER_01What? Sorry.
SPEAKER_02Listen, they've accomplished more than most bands, and um especially more than most bands on this list in a time where there was no internet, there was there was nothing. They were passing out flyers, plus, they really love their fans. And if you can accomplish what you've accomplished with a drummer that terrible, then you need to be on a top 10 list somewhere. Go ahead.
SPEAKER_01Listen, if this was a list of like top 10 most influential bands, I would say Metallica definitely belongs on there. But for family personal favorites, Hell no, no. Hell no!
SPEAKER_03You won't catch any of us listening to Metallica in this episode. I will every once in a while. And that's embarrassing for you. And speaking of Bill Murray, that's who I got. Bill Murray. Three. No, I'd say five.
SPEAKER_02Listen, Bill Murray, I told you why he wasn't he wasn't on my list because, or not he, them, they weren't on my list because you already had them. So I didn't need to have them. They haven't been around that long. Yes, the one full album, which is kind of hard.
SPEAKER_04No, American Motorsports is a full album.
SPEAKER_02That's a full album. So I don't know. It he just hasn't had that much longevity yet. Okay. That's the only reason I wouldn't put him higher than five. Okay, five. Jackson, you have an opinion on this?
SPEAKER_01It can't go any lower than five.
SPEAKER_02It can't go any regular than five. So that's if you don't pick my 70s music, I am not your friend.
SPEAKER_01Oh my gosh.
SPEAKER_02Right? I'm taking my ball and I'm going home. He had red hot pepper. Well, I'm taking my metamucil and going home.
SPEAKER_01He has red hot chili peppers. That's not 70s, so.
SPEAKER_02Lincoln Park. Oh heaven's face. I guess four. Four.
SPEAKER_01I mean, Link again, Lincoln Park. One album. But that album was genre defining. It was it was defying. Genre defining. At the time, we hadn't heard anything like that at all.
SPEAKER_03Even My December? What are you talking about? My December. The song My December, isn't that on Hybrid Theory? Isn't that the one?
SPEAKER_02I think that's on like a uh extended edition or something like that. Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_03Well, I mean, yeah, Hybrid Theory is a good album. Nothing else I heard from them, though.
SPEAKER_02I But in a time where there was like corn, Limp Biscuit, POD, Head Planet Earth, Seven Dust, all these bands that were the same, they sounded different. They were they were lumped together with them, but they sounded different. They sounded good. It wasn't as corny and cringy as all the other ones.
SPEAKER_01Okay.
SPEAKER_02This last one's going number three.
SPEAKER_01Number three.
New Found Glory And A Sad Goodbye
SPEAKER_02Oh boy.
SPEAKER_01Newfound glory.
SPEAKER_02Yes.
SPEAKER_01Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, don't say shit.
SPEAKER_01I'm I'm okay with that.
SPEAKER_02You can keep your mouths closed right now. First of all, Newfound Glory should be way above Blink 182 and Fallout Boy. Oh yeah. Yeah. They were the ones that created that pop punk genre. And uh Chad Gilbert recently passed away, R.I.P. Rest in peace, Chad. He was influential all over the whole scene, including producing three of A Day to Remember's albums. Oh wow. Um I actually got to work with him. I did some designs for Newfound Glory, and he was the contact person, and that was really cool. Interesting fact their album, uh Coming Home, was released on September 20th, 20 years ago.
SPEAKER_01Oh wow.
SPEAKER_02Coming home, and then one day after he passes away.
SPEAKER_01Wow.
SPEAKER_02This just got depressing.
SPEAKER_01Isn't that sad?
SPEAKER_04I mean, but it's skinny. I'm just saying.
SPEAKER_01It is sad. It's very sad that he passed away. It's also, I just another band that I can't believe they've been it's been that long. They've been around.
SPEAKER_03That's how I know we live in a volley world. Because he dies at 40 something, and Ozzie Osborne lives to be 75 years old. That's messed up.
SPEAKER_01It's it's that's messed up.
SPEAKER_02You know, I just, you know, I it hit me pretty hard when he died because it was like I just thought he would like come out of the cancer. He was fighting it, he was fighting so well.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, he was he was um he was finishing well.
SPEAKER_01Yes, yeah.
SPEAKER_02And um he's in heaven.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Alright, well that's that's it. We gotta do honorable mentions, and then we gotta.
SPEAKER_02Well, I had to do something because I was about to cry. And and I I had to like break it.
SPEAKER_01It also doesn't help that I mean he's only a couple years, I mean.
SPEAKER_02Are you trying to say that I'm gonna die now?
SPEAKER_01No, but I'm just saying when it's somebody your own age, like that also tends to depart as well, you know.
SPEAKER_02I I always thought he was older, but he's really only one year older than
Honorable Mentions And The Swap Rule
SPEAKER_02me. So okay. Here's our honorable mentions panic at the disco black Sabbath. House of Heroes, dude. Shut the f Judas Price. Emery! That's getting on there. My stomach gurgled at that one. Oh, and Led Zeppelin. Oh, what are you doing?
SPEAKER_00Are you getting Black Sabbath, Judas Priest, or Led Zeppelin on there?
SPEAKER_02Hold on, before you start, you can switch two in the list. You can take one off and replace it with one of the honorable mentions. If you take one off, that one that comes off then becomes an honorable mention and can always go back on. But once that place has been changed, like if number one is moved is moved or something like that. You can't touch it. You can't touch it.
SPEAKER_03Here we go, Jackson. What are we doing? I think we gotta put Black Sabbath at number one.
SPEAKER_01Okay. I knew he was gonna do it. I knew he was gonna do it.
SPEAKER_03I debated whether to put Black Sabbath or Led Zeppelin, but we would not have heavier music without Sabbath. And I'm wearing their shirt, so Calvin, what are you doing?
SPEAKER_01Calvin's gonna get uh.
SPEAKER_04See, now he's gotta get Under Oath back on there. Yeah, I'm getting rid of Lincoln Park.
SPEAKER_01That's what I exactly what I was gonna do.
SPEAKER_04I don't think they're that good. That's fair.
SPEAKER_02Well, that's wrong, but that's fair.
SPEAKER_01But Underoath belongs on there more than I think I'm going to get rid of Metallica and put House of Heroes.
SPEAKER_02Ooh.
SPEAKER_01House of Heroes is uh definitely more, would you say underground? Not underground, but more very underground. Very uh underrated and not well known. But uh they have several albums and multiple songs that, yeah, they're they're on a rotation for me.
SPEAKER_02The drummer from 21 Pilots was in House of Heroes for a while because they're all from the same city, uh Columbus, Ohio. Okay. Oh, what is dad doing?
SPEAKER_04Oh, what is dad doing? Okay, I'm gonna get rid of Just do it. Just do it, Dad. Don't second guess yourself.
SPEAKER_01He's gotta get Emery on there, and you know he wants Emery in top five.
SPEAKER_02No, no, I don't need I don't need Emery in top five, even though they're one of the greatest bands of all time, gods of rock.
SPEAKER_01I enjoy Emery.
SPEAKER_02No matter what I do, I'm hated. That's the job of a super dad. My chemical romance, I'm sorry. Yeah, no, disagree.
SPEAKER_01I agree with this, I agree.
SPEAKER_02And I'm putting Emery. If you don't know who Emery is, you need to go check them out. They're gonna be on tour for the rest of this year with Underoath on Underoath's 20th anniversary of Define the Great Line. Oh, yeah. Calvin and I will be there in Atlanta. So this is our final
The Final Family Top 10 Reveal
SPEAKER_02list. So we've got to live with this. Number one's horrible. At number 10, House of Heroes. Google it. Nine, Spirit Box, eight, deep purple. The rest of this list is now brought to you by Metamusle. When you're on the drums and you got a shit, Metamucil is your friend. Numbers.
SPEAKER_01I think that's actually not true because Metamusle is fiber.
SPEAKER_02You got a shit.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, so if when you're You got a shit, but you can't. Okay.
SPEAKER_02The shit's blocked.
SPEAKER_00Trying to go. That wasn't clear. I thought you're trying to hold it in. No, no, no.
SPEAKER_02When you're trying to go shit. But you place this Who says go shit?
SPEAKER_00I don't know. You. I say it now.
SPEAKER_02Yes. Number seven, Emery. Gods of Rock. Number six, the Red Hot Shili Peppers. Number five, Bill Merai. Number four, Underoath. Should be number one. Number three, Newfound Glory. Number two, Dance Gavin Dance. And number one, the Godfathers of Metal. Black Sabbath. You can't you can't deny them that. There you go.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. I'm I'm actually really okay with that list. I'm not quite as um hardcore into music as you guys are, but considering how divided we are in taste, I think that list is.
SPEAKER_04I just can't believe under oath is four.
SPEAKER_03But whatever.
SPEAKER_01That's a family list, not your personal list.
SPEAKER_03Well, I'm glad mine weren't picked while I was picking, or someone would have taken Led Zeppelin and put him at like 10. Not me. No. No, I wouldn't have put Led Zeppelin. Because Led Zeppelin's better than Lincoln Park. Thank you. Thank you.
SPEAKER_04Oh, that is just a strange thing. And see, that's saying something, because you think I would love Lincoln Park. Hell no.
SPEAKER_01It is weird. I would think that at least hybrid theory.
SPEAKER_04Their newest album that came out two years ago, listened to it once, haven't gone back because it was mid. It was pretty mid.
SPEAKER_02I gotta agree. I haven't gone back to it either, and I don't know why, because I really liked it when I first heard it. I don't know. That's the final
Favorite Albums And Listener Recommendations
SPEAKER_02top ten. And out of this top 10 list, each of us is now gonna pick one of these bands and tell you our favorite album by that band.
SPEAKER_03Jackson, why don't you start? Any of the first six albums by Black Sabbath are perfect, but I go back to Master of Reality the most. Okay. Wait, even the album with Dio? No, the first six albums are Aussie.
SPEAKER_01So Master of Reality, like what's a song on there I would know.
SPEAKER_03You might know Sweetleaf.
SPEAKER_01Okay.
SPEAKER_03That's the It's a Weed. No shit.
SPEAKER_01It's a euphemism. It's a euphemism for weed.
SPEAKER_02So where's Iron Man and Paranoid? Okay, that's the last album.
SPEAKER_03Okay. Self-titled and Paranoid were the same year Master of Reality was the next year after. Okay. Calvin.
SPEAKER_04I think I'm gonna go Underoath and I'm gonna go Lost in the Sound of Separation. I think that is their best album. I think every song is a masterpiece, especially the two the opening song is very recognizable and amazing. And we saw that live. Yeah. That was awesome. Rachel?
SPEAKER_01I mean, for me, it's their only chasing safety for Underoath. That's my favorite. But uh what I was gonna say it was House of Heroes Say No More, their debut album.
SPEAKER_02I'm gonna have to go with Emery, and I will go with The Question, which I got to go to the Question 20th anniversary tour. That album, every song is great. Also, I would say another they kind of made their own genre. They're they're not as innovative, I would say, as like Dance Gavin Dance to where they've had a genre named after their guitar player, but they sound different than most of the metal core, whatever you whatever emo, whatever you want to like lump them into. Plus, I I know a couple of the guys. I mean, so that's that's pretty cool.
SPEAKER_01Bias.
SPEAKER_02They're nice. And Matt, her his uh was his daughter who knows us. Remember, he took the selfie with us at the at the high tone? Yeah, wasn't there? Yeah, I know because you're lame. Missed out, missed opportunities. Because at the time I didn't like going to concerts. Ooh.
Closing Jokes And Final Shots
SPEAKER_02And that is relatively terrible. Calvin, you're on a three streak now. You always did a thing that's terrible.